All I Ask

The day started off great, so why does one moment ruin everything else that happened? I finally got my day of sleeping in, yay! Then I cuddled up and watched ‘New Girl’ with my boyfriend for a while. My dad then went and bought chicken so we shredded it and made chicken mayo rolls. After that my brother came over and gave me back a lot of my anime DVD’s, I’m so friggen happy about that. I then gave him some new anime and asked him if he would ask his aunt to have a look at my external for me.

Once my brother had left, my boyfriend and I went back to watching our series. That is pretty much where the wheels fell off. Almost at the end of an episode my father and I got into an argument. Suffice to say my room is messily clean. If you have ever tidied when you are pissed off and frustrated you will understand that term perfectly. Then another argument ensued so I did what I do best. I grabbed my house keys and stormed out of the house to calm down. As it is I don’t have much patience and I dislike loosing my temper. I walked to the park near our house and swung. I was out of the house for an hour. Once I had got hold of my temper and lifted my mood I went back home. As I got home my mother did as well. I put on my big girl pants and brave face and acted as if all was okay in front of my dad. My mother knows me too well to try that with her.

However when I got home I found my boyfriend playing my dad’s computer game. He didn’t even come to see if I was okay. During the hour I was gone, I did not tell him where I was going or when I would be back, he knew I was fuming, but still I expected some message from him to at least ask if I was okay? It may sound a little childish but I was really hurt by his seemingly lack of interest. It seriously hurt. After four years of dating I though he knew me better, or maybe I am being overly sensitive about this? So I climbed into the shower quickly while listening to music blasting on my phone. I hate showing my tears or loosing control in front of people. That is why when I was really angry and frustrated I left the house. In the shower I cried pitifully and washed my face so it wouldn’t show. Since running out of the house and saying that I would be back later we hadn’t said a word to each other. Then on the way to church with my mom we dropped him off with a single word of goodbye.

I doubt if he even realizes that he has hurt me since I haven’t said anything to him about it, but surely something must be going through his mind since he didn’t even talk to me once I got home? When I do get annoyed he usually tells me not to snap and taken it out on him, or he asks if I want something to drink, he just shows in someway that he is there for me, today there was nothing.¬†Even now, hours later it stings and instead of hurt I am now strangely quietly annoyed and frustrated by it all.

Overall a rather shitty way to end a day that was originally going quite well.


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